Well, here I am. Isolating, social distancing, etc. just as everyone else is at this time in our world. I find myself rambling around the house looking for things to organize or clean.
I've decided to start writing in a journal, documenting what I am doing and feeling during this time. I've not been one to journal before, but interestingly enough I purchased several journals on clearance about six weeks ago, never having written in a journal before, I wasn't sure why I felt so compelled to buy some, yet buy them I did.
So here we are six weeks later and I have the urge to journal. I am into day 3 of this as I was able to work until 3/19/20. Each evening before I go to bed, I write a page of what I did during the day and what some of my thoughts are. I'll not go back and read them. I plan on continuing this practice and hopefully, months down the road, I can go back and read how I handled each day as it came, hopefully seeing growth through this crazy time.
Another thing I am doing more of is jumping into my bible. I am not one that can quote scripture and verse. I am one who hops in and takes little bits and those little bits seem to be just what I need to read at the time. I highlight and go back and re-read. Some days I will get a whole new meaning from reading the same verse I read a week ago. That is part of what I love about the Holy Spirit, how It can blow through as a soft whisper or a gale force wind at times, always with a lesson or word of love.
One thing that has me concerned. For myself and others. Those who live with PTSD. Isolation is not a good or healthy thing. Triggers can come out of nowhere, especially your mind when you have so much time on your own. Sleep comes sporadically. Dreams become more prevalent. Edginess sets in. You find yourself clenching your teeth, your chest gets tight and you find yourself pacing. This is what I feel. I've no idea what others may feel, but I am pretty sure it may be close to some of the things I mentioned.
I'm not embarrassed to share these things. I used to be. For years I viewed this as a weakness. I was gently reminded that there is no weakness in seeking help or admitting that you live with demons. There is tremendous strength in it. No one will convince me otherwise now. I am thankful for that.
So, as folks isolate and social distance themselves. Please don't let yourself sink into a dark place. Keep in touch with a counselor if you have one. Keep in touch with friends, family, church family through social media, video chats or the telephone. Keep in touch with others who are going through what you are, you know who I'm talking about, those who "get it". Seek them out. You may help each other and be just what you need for each other.
Journal, read, pick up a hobby you may have had in the past or have wanted to try. Writing, painting, singing, walking, anything. Just do something.
I am no professional, and certainly don't want to come across as one who is a know it all. I am simply sharing what helps me.
This is going to be a bumpy road. I have no doubt about it, but I am going to do my best to get through it and come out the other side all the more stronger for it.
I'll continue to pray for those who live with PTSD, our nation, our communities and all those who are out there working to help those in need.
God bless you all and may God bless America.
May He bless our world and bring us all closer to him.
